Jane McCann,

Age-54

The Middle Aged Goddess

– as told to The Silver Women

Women who inspired you as a young girl?
Eartha Kitt as Cat Woman, The Bionic Woman, Samantha from Bewitched, Frida from Abba.
Basically a good mix of naughty and nice! 
Oh and my lovely Nana, Anne; a beautiful, gentle soul who always had a bottle of Schweppes red cordial and a swiss roll for when we visited.

Women, who inspire you now?
My niece Sophie. She lost her mum (my sister Josie) about 5 years ago when she was 19. Sophie has moved through this period of her life with grace, determination, and so much courage. She looks ahead and is creating a future for herself despite this monumental loss. She looks a lot like me but has a resilience that I never had at her age. I’m not her mother but we have a beautiful connection that I know Josie would smile about.

The most valuable lesson taught by your Mother?
To have an opinion! My mum had strong opinions on most topics and she wasn’t afraid to let you know what she thought. She once said to me that the world would be a boring place if we all thought the same and even though she heartily and loudly disapproved of most things I did (especially when I shaved my head.) She also taught me to speak my mind which sometimes, of course, comes with a consequence.

Do you think older women are valued or celebrated enough?
There has definitely been a shift in the media and on social platforms. More women are acknowledging the beauty and gift of aging. There’s an appreciation now for our knowledge, which I’ve seen and felt when I’ve given talks to young women about menopause. Instagram is full of older women growing their hair color out and doing whatever the **** they like!

Through my decades!
20’s: It’s a blur, to be honest! There was a lot of partying, quite a few unhealthy relationships, the death of my mother. There was joy in there for sure but also pain, grief and a sense of loneliness even though I was rarely alone. You often hear people say “I have no regrets” or “everything happens for a reason” but there’s a relationship in there that I really wished had never happened. It tore me apart and to this day I really try not to think about it too much. What I do cherish though are the friends I made in that decade. We’re all still mates, love each other and each other’s children and feel a sense of ease and understanding in our relationships.

30’s: My thirties saw me become a mother and a wife and a feeling that maybe I might never sleep through the night ever again! I felt quite lost and unsure how to parent – I assumed it just came naturally but I really had to learn to trust my instincts and hope that I didn’t totally screw mothering up! It was also the decade I lost my dear dad. I was three months pregnant with my second child at the time, vomiting uncontrollably with horrendous morning sickness and terrified that my grief and sadness would affect my baby. That baby practically came out smiling, has inherited his Grandpa’s gentle nature, eyes, and swimming ability and is as delightful as he was.

40’s: Such a busy time for a woman. Work-wise, I was working nights at a gym so I could be at home during the day which sounds great but I was exhausted. I had some major health issues including a bout of depression that knocked me for six. And again…a lot of grief. The death of both my husband’s parents and then my sister Josie from breast cancer. For a few years, we just seemed to roll from one crisis to the next all while trying to manage to raise kids, working and maintaining a relationship.

50’s: Ok so it sounds like my life was falling apart right? Well sometimes it felt that way but really it was all falling into place. At 53, I finally feel like I have arrived at myself! Emotionally I have NEVER felt better and there’s a freedom in menopause that I never expected. Who knew? Not me! So, now I’m trying to bring other women along for the ride into middle age by over-disclosing, dancing and rambling on Insta for anyone willing to listen.